Sixth Confession: I watched the Fifty Shades Trailer

Fifty Shades of Clay 

The Fifty Shades of Gray trailer just came out... And I have to say that I am very disappointed that this "story" is being made into a movie.  

Now, I have never read this book... but I was told that it was "a great romance" and that I should give it a try.  During all the hype... like many women I was curious to see what it was all about.  I looked up book reviews by both Christians and non-Christians, naysayers and fans.  I watched a very funny Ellen parody video and I am sad to say I have read an excerpt from it.  So, I think even though I have not read the book I can very honestly give a fairly educated opinion on the work. 

First, let me say that I am not judging those who have read the book, but rather hoping to help women see how this book and movie can and will be harmful to them. So here we go...

What is Fifty Shade of Gray?  Well, it's the story of Christian Gray, a billionaire playboy who hires a young virgin assistant and brings her into a world of erotic bondage.  Through the story we find that Mr. Gray was actually abused as a child and this is why he has such "dark passions" and we find that the heroine, though scared by the actual torture chambers in the basement not only gives into the suggestions of her boss, but actually enjoys them.  The whole story is tied up with a big bow as they fall in love "for real" and he changes his ways... at least for the most part... Realizing that all he ever needed was the love of a good woman.  

Okay, so why do I have a problem with this... besides the obvious?  For starters, the idea that anything to do with BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism) is a good romance.. Means that you don't actually know what a romance is. A romance, like a marriage, should be telling us the truth about who Christ is to the church.  It should be painting a picture of who Christ is...BDSM tells lies about what sex should be, what marriage should be and who Christ is Now, as a writer I do not always write perfect "Christ-like" characters, but still I realize that just like we are flawed people who are showing Christ to the world, I want my characters to do the same.  But this "story" promotes fear, pain and torture as being good, healthy and okay. That's not just a flawed character...that is telling a lie to the woman reading the book. 

Books and movies like these...tell women that they have to be a "porn star" to be loved and desirable. These stories make women believe that being lusted after is better than being cherished, that being used and dominated is sexy.  That pain is hot.  It is really just domestic violence wrapped up in pretty clothes.  It is dressed up as a sexy romance with a sweet ending, but the truth is REAL stories like this one happen and they don't get a perfect happy ending.  The truth is... That giving into the sexual lusts of our generation hurts your heart and your mind.  Stories like these are invading and they take no prisoners.  So then why are we letting them in? 

  

Partially, because it was a slow fade. For generations, books with bare chested men ripping bodices have been out in the open, on coffee tables and the tops of toilets.  This form of "Mommy porn" has always been acceptable. The fact that mother, or even grandmother was reading a harlequin was not only acceptable but it was laughed at.  Even though,  the world of "romance" has taken a turn for a darker side, it is acceptable for these books to be out on our nightstands. As our generation accepts the perversion of love, sex and marriage, more and more...even sweet ladies from your Sunday school class are falling victim to the slow fade. Why is this happening? Why is it so easy to fall into?  

To sum it up: It's just porn.  Clear and simple.  These "romance" novels are being used by women in the same way that a man may watch a video or look at a magazine.  It's a way to get away, feel good and either emotionally or even physically pleasure ourselves.  In my mind, I see no difference between reading a graphic sex scene and viewing one.
"Well, it's just a book"  you might say...   But many women who struggle with sexual addictions such as, sex addicts or porn and masturbation addicts admit that they can give up almost everything else but that the erotic romances stay on their kindles.  

Why is that?  Because as women we need to connect emotionally to something or someone.  A book is a great way to connect emotionally without having to deal with a real person.  Julio will always say the right things, do the right things and be the perfect man.  Where as your husband, boyfriend or your lack of boyfriend may not always be as appealing. But as we are fading into the gray, like a porn addict, women are looking for more graphic and harder stuff to fuel their fix.  The horror of this is, as books like Fifty Shades are becoming hugely popular there is a rise in women becoming addicted to pornography.  Therefore... stop lying to yourself... It's not just a book.  It's something that will hurt you...  The truth is, we are clay.  And we will be molded into whatever we allow into our minds.  Just like porn, these books and movies will invade your mind and will change you.  So ask yourself.. how are you being molded? 

My heart is for healing... Know that through Christ we can be clean and spotless again.  That we are His Bride and our innocence is sealed with Him.  Let's put down the "Mommy Porn" and the "Real" Porn and realize that we don't have to fall into the trap that is being so delicately laid for us.   

If you are looking to learn more you can check out the book, Pulling Back the Shades by Dr. Juli Slattery or Dirty Girls Ministries, which is a ministry for women struggling with sexual addictions.